How to Find a Therapist That’s a Good Fit
It’s all about fit.
Therapy is hard work, and so it’s essential to find a therapist who you feel comfortable with. Most therapists will offer a free initial consultation to get to know you, and to tell you what you can expect in your work together. It can sometimes take a few sessions to get a good sense of fit, but trust your gut, and don’t be afraid to shop around.
Here are some tips for things to look for in a therapist, both before reaching out, as well as during your initial interactions with them.
Before reaching out to a therapist, here are some factors to consider, many of which can be determined just by looking at someone’s website or profile online:
Do you want in-person or online therapy? Some offer one or the other, and some offer both. Online therapy can be more comfortable and accessible for a lot of people, while others prefer the connection of in-person.
What specific issues are you struggling with? Do you need help with depression, anxiety, burnout, postpartum challenges, self-esteem issues, relationship problems, or something else? Look for someone who has expertise in the areas you need.
What’s your budget? Many therapists offer sliding scales, which means you have a variety of price points to choose from if affordability is a challenge. Often you can claim psychotherapy through insurance if you have it through your employer, which can help with cost. Psychotherapy tends to take time, so crunch the numbers and figure out what you can sustainably afford if you’re going to have sessions every 1-2 weeks.
What specific characteristics or identity traits are important to you? Do you feel more comfortable with a female-identifying therapist? Do you want someone your age? Your parents’ age? Do you want someone who is the same race or religion as you? Is it important that your therapist is queer or queer-allied? These are all traits you can search for.
Once you’ve decided one or a few therapists to have some initial consults with, here are some additional things to think about in those first meetings:
What sort of modalities do they practice? Some therapists only do one or two modalities, such as CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) or art therapy. Ask what modes of therapy are in their toolkit, and feel free to ask if there is a specific type you’re looking for. Maybe you’re really interested in working with things that affect your body - you would want a therapist who do somatic therapy. Maybe you suffer from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and want a therapist who is trauma-informed.
Are they someone who you can open up to? This is probably the most important factor, and also the most personal. Did it feel easy talking about yourself? Can you imagine eventually developing a trusting relationship with this person? How did you feel coming out of the meeting? Supported? Calm? Cared for? This is very subjective, so go with your gut.
Feel free to use your first session or two with a prospective new therapist as an interview. You’re going to be making a personal investment of your time, energy, and money into working with this person, so you have every right to ask them questions about their experience, their values, and their approach.
You’re taking an important step in searching for support, and being clear on your ideal therapist is a great way to practice self care and advocacy. Good luck. You’ve got this :).
